Sunday, August 2, 2015

Grit your teeth and smile

I have spent many years being diagnosed with depression, rather than with what actually ails me.
I was told my stomach problems were because I was depressed. My suggestion of a dietary intolerance was dismissed, until I was sent to a specialist, as things had got really bad. Guess what! He diagnosed me with milk intolerance. Turns out that milk gives me an upset stomach, aching joints, sinus problems, migraines and - yes - it makes me depressed.
Roll on the years. I fall ill with mystery aches, brainfog, swollen glands, exhaustion, etc etc; a few years down the line; a diagnosis of ME.
However, it is an invisible illness.
I have to smile, be bright, cheerful and positive, otherwise I am being 'miserable'.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I want to let go.
I want to rant and howl and cry for the pain I am in, and the life I cannot live.
But I must grit my teeth, and smile.

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